I have, perhaps foolishly, just purchased an old beater flatbed truck.

My reasons for this are several:

– I own a piano, and will shortly be moving. And I have never, not once, had someone other than myself move a piano without needing it re-tuned. Despite the fact that I have been developing some skill in piano tuning of late, having serviced my own and my co-workers’ two instruments successfully, I don’t want to have to spend all the time doing the whole sound board from scratch. So, the truck is a paino-mover.

– I enjoy projects. I like to repurpose items, like hot water tank liners, and turn them into growers, or bookcases, or the like. With the existing car I have, moving of such things, or other pieces of furniture like antique tables and so forth, is laughably impossible.

– our family will soon be resuming our hobby farming lifestyle… and farming requires not just a pickup, but a flatbed. Haybales, seed, animals, all are better off on a flatdeck than in the box of a pickup.

And this is the best one, for a wee Scotsman who has become quite enamored of the large caravans of North America (they’re like whales!! Whales that you can take anywhere and live in!! Move over Jonah- these one’s have full bathtubs and king-size beds!)

– I would like to get a gooseneck fifth wheel with pullouts. They are just splendid. Fascinating innovation in terms of design and engineering. Brilliant. While I think the old Travelling caravans are delightful (and helped to refinish one, back in the day, I’ll see if I can find the pictures) this new North American innovation is just massively wonderful.

Goosenecks can be used with pickups, but for tight maneuvering, and for adverse terrain that is not well manicured, they can cause horrible dents in all parts of the pickup’s box. Painful to look at, really. So a flat deck allows one to twist and turn the fifth wheel in a great range of directions. You can look at this YouTube video of this fellow maneuvering it like a boss:

So, I have found this old Ford F150 4×4 with a redone transmission that merges it with a 3/4 ton transmission (F-150s are called ‘half ton’ pickups, 250s 3/4 ton and 350s one ton). It has one ton springs on the flatbed (which means the strong metal frame can now bear the added weight and a 5.7 L V8 engine. That is powerful… F-150s come originally with 4.9L engines, and move up into these.

However, all is not bonny with this old girl. She is from 1993, and while the transmission was upticked and the frame springs in the rear improved, they decided to just run the front end into disrepair rather than making the other improvements.

There is something called a ‘death wobble’ that is truly terrifying. This old truck has it, in spades. Death wobbling means all the fiddly bits inside the front axle/tyre array (ball joints, springs, bearings and such) are dying. This can mean everything from the tyre flying off at speed or during a slow turn (analagous to your leg coming apart at the ankle or knee during a marathon and just flying away!) to the weight of the engine gradually settling onto the front axle and crushing it. This causes the frame to poke through the body elements (which has not happened yet with this truck) and can cause torsion to the transmission/engine union (which has also not happened yet).

So… first thing is first. Time to replace the front end. Thankfully, the people who own the truck have no problems with me working on it over the summer, as it is a fair distance from town and tow trucks would be expensive.

It is a fine chance to spend some time in the country again, after many dusty years of work in the office block, and start to reclaim this rather charming old vehicle.

Also, to see if, after so many years of dusty work in the office block, if this whole idea of hobby farming and a return to earlier years’ lifestyle is viable for me, and not just for the vehicle. The F-150 is not the only thing who might be worried about joints and bits of him just flying off in mid effort!

I will keep you posted, as the work continues, under my separate subheading of Fix the Flatbed.